I am beginning to construct this blog to help me categorize my own thoughts. A place far away from social media and graduate online forums; a place far away from the categories and definitions I need to conform to; and a place secluded enough to settle myself into the quietness I need to be rebuild myself into. I might write here in the shadows before I share it, before it is best to reveal my purposes, because, I myself am unsure of it's purpose! It might be day, it might be a month, it might be an eternity. All I know is that I need to construct to find clarity, and this was the most accessible entry point upon the virtual shelf of self absorption.
But this will require holding back my show-off Jungian archetype who loves the immediacy of Facebook and who loves to continually throw herself out there for attention. She is so immature and restless. She is my one true enemy and my only best friend. She is my biggest fan, my worst catastrophe, and my most desirable poet. She has been the determined voice to push me into the edges of the limelight, and she will not stop until her efforts have been acknowledged. But I have to tell her to wait. Just like an impatient toddler crying for attention, I must tell her to hold on, and perhaps even distract her for awhile (she can play in Facebook!). I must tell her that sometimes words and actions need to be crafted before they are released into the flood. They must have strength before they set off on the journey, because the tyranny of critics will weaken it's bones and cause the splintering of it's truth.
The title Life Breaths made itself available like so many other thoughts that come to me through the wave of reconnaissance thought. It found me is a phrase I use most often when people ask me where I found that quote, that website, that book, and I feel, once again, that this name was served up to me at a time that I would be most open to rebuild myself upon it's epitaph.
So, this is the First Breath. I can only hope this collection of written breaths will sustain me like the element of oxygen empowers a living body, and I will humbly accept it's power to invigorate, or, upon it's departure, disintegrate.
